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"I'm tellin' you, motherfucker: Time travel is real! All you gotta do is to turn an Einstein-Rosen bridge back in on itself. By manipulating wormholes, free temporal movement is possible."
"Man, shut the fuck up. The raw power necessary to do that bullshit would be near-infinite. Any punk-ass mark knows that time travel is only viable by exploiting Einstein's special theory of relativity and traveling at near-light speeds in a space craft. Even then, time only flows forward. Can't go back, nigga."
"Both ya'll, shut up! I'm tired of this bickerin'. Damn! Neither of ya'll dumbasses are taking string theory into account. Do that and then we can talk."
There's an American economy joke in here somewhere...
Holy fucking crap. This kid's headboard is ridiculously nice. Look at all those ornate etchings around the edges.
She wants a baby. He wants a Cleveland Steamer. I want both of them to go to an interior design class.
"Oh, my! So very tasty indeed! Tell me, Simon: Where did you procure doja of such a high quality of sweetness? I am getting thoroughly fucked up off of the fumes, my boy."
"A dealer down the block, father. His name is Akbar. He wears much golden jewelry about his neck and fingers and smells much like the Tommy Hilfiger cologne."
"Oh, yes, the Persian. Of course. Those Persians can always be counted on to provide the illest of that super-sticky. God and Queen, bless the brown-skins and their wacky tobaccy!"
Pure awesome. But, what I like even more than Jesus cradling the baby Velociraptor with the crazy eyes, is that kickass Pterodactyl totally soaring around that erupting volcano in the background. So badass. And so logical.
One of these boys keeps a disturbing secret: A ravenous taste for human flesh. Guess which one correctly and you'll be entered for a chance to win a Cuisinart CBT-700 PowerEdge Blender!
For me, the stink lines really drive the point home. But that's not saying much. I've always been a sucker for a good stink line illustration.
So, uh, yeah. Black Jesus. Similar to Regular Jewish Jesus except... Well, you know. The tan. Plus, he's probably got some prison tats and a kickass Jamaican accent to go with those dreads.
This guy got fired for having tiny, girl feet. Corporate America doesn't respect blacks, women, gays or men who shop for their shoes at the Build-A-Bear Workshop. It ain't fair, but nobody ever said life had to be. It also didn't help that he embezzled $2.6 million and had rough sex with a non-consenting parrot.
