two inches

I love Spider-Man - I really do - but this was a damn mistake. If Superman pushes you into a dick-measuring contest, you let him win. Size doesn't matter: he'll turn your face into cranberry sauce.

work it, girl

Oh, yeah. You go, Angela, with your fine ass, reading that book like you're so innocent. I know how much freak you've got hiding under that old lady tie. Some lotion, a hand towel and a little bit of Murder She Wrote - you're set for the goddamn night.

the american dream

Rocket Racer paved the way for BET, all those ridiculous Tyler Perry films and the Obama administration. Because of his murderous pursuits of Spider-Man, the America majority grew fond of the idea that African-Americans don't always fit into cute, little, stereotypical boxes (i.e., sometimes they don powered suits of armor and ride across the sides of metropolitan buildings on rocket skateboards, firing "energy blasts"* from their wrists).


Yeah, and I guess Rerun helped, too.


*Whatever the hell those are.

what the hell is he swinging from that high in the fucking sky?

Spider-Man wonders whether or not he would get more tail as a helicopter pilot.