questions

I totally understand wanting to ride a unicorn. They're beautiful and super powerful. Riding a unicorn is probably a lot like making babies with Jessica Alba while flying an F-16 over Iraq. What I can't figure out with the image above is how the old lady got her power chair up onto the horse's back. I mean, power chairs weigh like 178,000 lbs.; you'd need, like, three guys and a forklift, at least. And why would she do it, anyway? Is she planning on making a ton of spur of the moment trips between the mane and the tail? Craziness.

my readers can go screw themselves, for realsies

I've been accused of spiraling further and further into literary chaos with this blog. It seems there are a growing number of people that find my occasional lack of logic/continuity unpleasant. Maybe it reminds them of their terrible childhood or some time spent in prison, where they had to turn a little gay just to survive. I don't know. Either way, never say that I'm not willing to accommodate, because, instead of my usual nonsensical buffoonery, I'll simply leave you with this: a break dance battle at an upscale hotel. Can't get much more normal than that.