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This kid must be tweaked out on meth or something. Nobody in the history of ramen noodles has ever been this excited about them. Especially not the chicken flavor. If I was in a plane crash and stranded on a deserted island for a week before finding an electric generator, a microwave, three bottles of fresh water and a box of ramen, I'd probably still have a healthy level of disinterest. Especially if the box was all chicken flavor.
Every time you masturbate, Final Fight's Mike Haggar piledrives a great white shark. Which is actually pretty cool. So, I guess... masturbate more?
Because how weird would it be if a blind guy walked into a room full of robot workers? They would all be like, "Whoa there, buddy: You're totally not a badass robot like us. We're gonna have to ask you to vacate." And the blind guy would all be like, "Dammit! My lack of sight has failed me once again. Stupid broken eyeballs!" Then, after a moment of awkward silence, everyone would bust out laughing. Or something like that.
No mask? Blond hair and pale skin? A tight white shirt pulled up over rolling hills of lard? Asinine placement and a pathetic lack of weapon concealment? Taking cell phone pictures of your fat belly in the mirror at your mom's house to update your Twitter profile? Fuck you, man. Your Ninja Card has been officially revoked.
Shit, yo. You just got swine flu.
This little bastard needs a good punch in the face.
"I'm tellin' you, motherfucker: Time travel is real! All you gotta do is to turn an Einstein-Rosen bridge back in on itself. By manipulating wormholes, free temporal movement is possible."
"Man, shut the fuck up. The raw power necessary to do that bullshit would be near-infinite. Any punk-ass mark knows that time travel is only viable by exploiting Einstein's special theory of relativity and traveling at near-light speeds in a space craft. Even then, time only flows forward. Can't go back, nigga."
"Both ya'll, shut up! I'm tired of this bickerin'. Damn! Neither of ya'll dumbasses are taking string theory into account. Do that and then we can talk."
There's an American economy joke in here somewhere...
Holy fucking crap. This kid's headboard is ridiculously nice. Look at all those ornate etchings around the edges.
She wants a baby. He wants a Cleveland Steamer. I want both of them to go to an interior design class.
