really unfortunate stuff

Sadly, this guy could probably have sex with your girlfriend anytime he wants. It would never happen - you know, because of the whole massively gay thing - but it's still a humbling fact.

the reagans and the future

"Just think, kids: In the year 1989, there'll be cars that can fly to the Moon and books that'll scan their stories right into your brain. And, oh, the robots! The robots'll be top notch! They'll do everything for us - clean up, protect the house, everything! Hell, I won't even have to have sex with your mother's face while she sleeps anymore. I'll just do it with a robot!"

"That's right, Ron. No more sticky mornings for me!"